


Forgotten Face

by theoretically_moss



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, Light Angst, Painting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 12:54:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20426306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoretically_moss/pseuds/theoretically_moss
Summary: With the disappearance of Byleth, Edelgard begins to draw the professor, trying to keep hold of the memories of one so important to her. But with time, all things fade, and the memory of her dear professor is no exception.





	Forgotten Face

**Author's Note:**

> I'm well aware that the whole painting thing can be made dirty, but I live my life thinking blissful, pure thoughts. This isn't my best work, but I have a special fic I'm planning/working on.

It started out small. One night Edelgard had absentmindedly drawn her professor’s face while working at her desk. It was hardly a good drawing, but it still made her chest ache, a reminder of what was gone. If only she had been faster, been able to warn her sooner, then maybe she could have prevented the disappearance of Byleth. Such thoughts were useless though. She could not change the past, only the future.

The months passed as she drew the face of her dear teacher more and more. When night came she would sit down to draw the face of the one who guided her with a kind, warm hand. The one who saw Edelgard not as the crown she wore, but as who was hidden beneath it. She could not forget one so important to her so easily. At least, that’s what Edelgard wanted to believe.

As with all, time withered away memory. After almost five years, Edelgard could still remember what happened back in her days at the Officer’s Academy, but she couldn’t remember the most important thing of all. She brought charcoal to paper, but her hand remained unmoving. The face she once loved so dearly now eluded her grasp. She couldn’t remember the beautiful yet messy look of her professor’s hair. She couldn’t remember those eyes that seemed so deep that she could get lost in them. She couldn’t remember that special smile that Byleth seemed to reserve only for her.

Everything Edelgard felt she remembered about her professor seemed like a creation of her imagination. She was unable to look back at her previous drawings to remember the face she loved. How close had those drawings truly been to what the professor looked like? Surely they all had some of Edelgard’s own imagination mixed in. And even if the older ones were closer to what she had truly looked like, they were poorly drawn, hardly giving a good idea of what the professor’s features were like.

There would be nights where it had been so difficult to stare down at that blank paper, unable to conjure even the slightest idea of Byleth’s face. Nights where tears would stream down Edelgard’s face as she tried so, so hard to remember. But each time, those memories were outside of her grasp. All she could do was cry over what was lost, what was forgotten. She wished so dearly for the return of her professor. For the chance to see her once again. Even if she could never share those feelings, she wished to at least have Byleth there at her side.

None had seen her drawings or heard her cries. But they all knew. No one dared talk though, a creeping fear of confronting the Emperor. Edelgard was left all alone to wallow in her pain and regret. Time seemed to drag on so painfully slow as the war raged on. The years felt like decades of death and destruction. Ceaseless violence that had no end in sight. The world became so dark and cold. Such a harsh reality hardened the Emperor so.

Yet that all seemed to stop when Byleth returned. She came on the day they all promised to reunite. She stood in front of Edelgard in the Goddess Tower on the day of the would-be Millenium Festival, just like she said she would five years prior. The image of her professor’s rare smile once again graced her, filling her very thoughts. Her walls seemed to crumble when she held Byleth so close. It was then that she had come to a decision. She could never forget that face again. Never could she lose the image of that gorgeous smile reserved just for her. Never again.

When she returned to her quarters that night, she started by sketching portraits of Byleth. She kept trying again and again each night until she had drawn what she felt was a somewhat satisfactory result. She moved to canvas, painting a portrait of Byleth, including all the small details she saw in the woman. The beautiful yet terrifying colors of her eyes and hair. The small scars that were concealed by the hair framing her face or slightly faded with time. She would paint this portrait down to the slightest details she saw. A painting just for Edelgard, as no other could know of the feelings she kept deep down.

Unfortunately, Byleth has managed a glimpse of the portrait. The woman had rushed into the Emperor’s room at the sound of a scream. Edelgard was lucky enough to hide the canvas away before the professor entered the room to check on her. What she failed to do was hide the drawing she had been using as a reference for her painting. She had dearly hoped the professor wouldn’t notice, but Byleth has a keen eye. Nothing would ever slip past her.

“What’s that?”

Edelgard followed the professor’s gaze over to her desk where the drawing lie. Dread clawed at her guts. If Byleth could tell what the portrait was and felt anything about it, she hid it well, behind that same blank face she always wore. Edelgard had no desire to know, hoping to get rid of the professor before she realized what the portrait was. “Oh! Professor! Leave here at once!” She needed some excuse to make the professor leave. Quickly, she thought to Hubert. “I recall now that Hubert needs to speak with me. I must change my clothes. Now. Whatever you do, don’t look this way!”

She hated how much desperation seeped into her voice at that moment, but she needed Byleth gone unless she wished to suffer further. But it was too late as concern etched its way onto the former professor’s face. “I already saw it…”

Edelgard could feel her face heating up. None had seen her drawings and the subject of her drawings was most certainly the worst person to possibly see them. And yet, Byleth stood there, having seen just a portion of Edelgard’s own feelings for her on paper. She wished Byleth would forget that any of this had happened. “Then forget what you saw! That’s an order!”

Byleth sighed in response, nodding before backing out of the room. The heat didn’t leave from Edelgard’s face, embarrassed by the turn of events. She sat back down at her desk, bringing the canvas back out to continue her painting. She could only hope that this would be a forgotten memory.

Of course, as it usually was with Byleth, it wasn’t forgotten. It had been a month later when Edelgard heard Byleth’s distinct knock on her door. She was painting some final touches on the portrait in the moment and didn't have the time to hide the canvas away. “Professor? Halt! Don’t come in here!”

She rushed to get the words out before Byleth had the opportunity to open the door. The professor had a tendency to ignore proper manners at times, such as opening doors before getting a response to her knocks. Edelgard let out a sigh when the door remained still, though the relief was short lived when Byleth spoke. “Hasn’t this happened before?”

Edelgard let out a small groan of embarrassment. Why did Byleth have to have such a perfect memory? As helpful as her memory was, it also caused her embarrassment at the reminder of memories that should be forgotten. “I thought I told you to forget about that.” A blush rose up Edelgard’s cheeks as she stared at the painting in front of her. “There’s something I don’t want you to see.”

“Is it a portrait?”

Byleth’s immediate response caused the blush on Edelgard’s cheeks to deepen. She had still hoped the former professor couldn’t tell what she had been working on, but her eyes and mind were sharp as ever. There was no point in hiding what it was anymore. “So...you know about it. Yes, it’s a portrait. Of you. I painted it myself.” Edelgard stared at the painting, noting all the imperfections in her art. “It’s, uh...quite disgraceful. I did a terrible job with it, and it looks nothing like you.”

There was a silence on the other side of the door. There was no response from Byleth, but also no footsteps to be heard. Edelgard dreaded it, wishing to open the door and see what Byleth’s reaction was. Just as she was about to get up, the professor’s voice came. “Thank you for that, Edelgard.”

There was a genuine happiness in Byleth’s voice, though as to why, Edelgard couldn’t tell. Though a small smile made its way onto her lips at the words. “I’m happy you appreciate my efforts, but...please don’t touch that door.”

At that, Byleth said her goodbyes and the sound of her footsteps echoed down the hall before eventually fading away. Edelgard sighed as she stared back at the painting. It was for her and her alone to look at. There were mistakes here and there, but it was still relatively close to how Byleth looked, and that’s what mattered to her. As much as Edelgard loathed the thought, she never knew if she would lose Byleth again. To have a reminder, any reminder, of what the professor looked like was important to her. She wished to never forget that face she loved again. That rare smile Byleth had seemed to warm Edelgard’s heart, even when it was a painting. Perhaps no one would know of the true extent of her feelings, but at least she could always have that reminder to herself.


End file.
